I’m only a couple of miles away from the strip club.

I checked my car’s dashboard. There’s a chance I can make it in time, hopefully I calculated the distance.

If I’m off by even a mile … this won’t work.

Here I am on Broadway, driving from Albany to Menands. I’m about two miles away from Ciro’s Gentleman’s Club, an adult business on the Albany-Menands borderline, nestled under a highway overpass.

I checked the dashboard again. Only a couple of miles away. If I can make it to my destination – perfect.

Almost there. Let’s hope my calculations are correct. I’ve got at least a tolerance of one mile. After that … this all goes to waste.

I arrive at the strip club. The parking lot is empty. The place is closed. Of course it is. It’s daytime. Establishments like this operate at night. Seriously, this isn’t the location where someone can sneak out of their downtown 9-to-5 office grind at lunchtime and indulge in another sort of office grind.

Another glance at the dashboard. I wasn’t sure this would work. Honestly, I thought I’d have to take this moment when it occurred, and where it occurred, distance be damned. But for some reason, whether for circumstance or for happenstance … here I am. Parked in the Ciro’s Gentleman’s Club parking lot.

I’ve got a decent view of the front door. Yeah, without the facility’s neon lights advertising a mixture of Bud Light and light buds, this would look just some generic property. Nothing to get aroused about.

I check the dashboard once more. I made it. Just enough distance. Whew.

Again, I wish the place was open … it would look more like a strip club than it is right now … but beggars can’t be choosers.

Let’s do this.

I pull my phone out of my pocket … and get this shot.

Yep. Perfect. Odometer checks out.

Okay. Time to leave. No reason to hang around here, even if the place was open for business.

And if you’re wondering what this picture truly represents …

Then I have to introduce you to digital calculator humor. Digital calculator humor is when you discover that typing the numbers 71077345 into a calculator, and then turning the calculator upside down, shows the numbers as 5ߤ↋𝘓𝘓0⇂𝘓 – or, if you use your imagination, it could spell “Shell Oil.”

With that in mind … look at my dashboard’s odometer. You don’t need to flip the numbers over to get the reference. Just imagine the odometer’s numbers as letters, similar to the person who swaps out an “O” for a 0 or a “B” for an 8 on their custom license plate.

And there you have it. I mean, it’s a pretty broad-minded joke. I’m not trying to play, Tex. And I can lift and separate these puns for another 18 hours, cross my heart.

And I could have used this odometer joke previously …

But I was nowhere near any adult establishments when I reached 69,000 miles.

Ha.